What was I thinking

I am a very knowledgeable horseman, well woman and a good rider. But what the hell was I thinking when I decided to adopt a racehorse. In the past I have had a blind arab, a standardbred racer, a 9 month old pony, a Saddlebred, and a quarter horse cross. Non of which were ever lazy or laid back. I was always drawn to the "crazy" horses but Im older now and I have two kids. My time is more limited and I am more cautious, and more afraid to get hurt. Well now I am the owner of a very challenging OTTB mare and she is bi-polar and so unpredictable. I know every horse has a bad day, but we have had more of those than good days. I am so mad at myself for not being able to do more with her. My list of things we cant do is far greater than the list of things we can do. She needs a professional trainer and I just cant afford one of those, so sadly it looks like I might have to sell her. Its not fair to Izzy that she just doesn't get to do anything, and its a waste of my time and money to have a horse that I cant do anything with. I am really attached to her already and I have never had to sell a horse before but it probably is the best thing for us. If I cant find her a good home that will accept the buying contract from CANTER then I will have to give her back and forfeit my money.