You found me

"Lost and insecure You found me, you found me Lying on the floor Surrounded, surrounded Whyd you have to wait? Where were you, where were you? Just a little late You found me, you found me why'd you have to wait to find me, to find me?"

This is the lyrics from (You found me, By The Fray) I used this song on the video I made of Izzy on youtube. Other than being a racehorse with a crappy race record and broken knee, I'm not sure of the stuff she was put through. You can tell just by looking at her that she has been through some really tough shit. I feel so bad for her. I wish I could know what she was thinking. There has been a couple days in the last week that I have noticed subtle changes in the way she acts around me. She has become very confident in the stall to the point where she has no problems trying to bite or kick out a little. Its not extreme but its a big change from the horse that went catatonic in the back corner of the stall.

We bought her a jolly ball that has a lickit above it and hung it in her stall. She has yet to figure out that its like candy. She has very little winter coat left, which increases how sensitive her skin is. In the process of trying to do everyday horse things (like cleaning, brushing, turning out, crosstying, etc...) We have hit a number of roadblocks. It feels frustrating like I hit a brick wall rather than a pebble in the road. For example she will not tolerate me grooming around her belly and ribs. She is more scared of my grooming rag than a spray bottle, the wash rack is a dark scary cave with horse eating creatures inside. The list goes on but these are things most people do everyday with no problems.

About a week ago Izzy was turned out with Chevy and managed to cut the front of her back leg (hock area). I wanted to hose it off, to see how bad it was but she would not go in the scary wash rack. So we said screw it I would hose it in the isle way and that wasn't working either. Then I cleaned it and wrapped it with gauze and vet wrap. She stood still while I did it, but as soon as she would take a step forward she would buck and kick, she did this a lot. Like she would forget it was on. It got so bad that I had to cut the bandage off so she wouldn't hurt herself more. Good news though her leg is almost healed, and she is happy and sound.

A few days ago a friend of mine moved her OTTB back to the fairgrounds she rode her horse down to my barn to introduce her to Izzy. Her horse meesha who very confident and calm. Izzy didn't even walk a foot or so out of the front of the barn. She was comfortable there but not any further. I had Izzy go for a walk but with a more confident horse. And she did ok. Now the walk back to the barn was alone. I admit that I was scared of what she might do. The barn that was only a 100ft away felt 100 miles. So I decided to keep her busy so she couldn't think about being alone and scared. So I let her have a couple bites of grass then I made her walk through a big puddle... which was a lot deeper than I thought. She walked in put her nose under water and blew bubbles. I have never seen that before but it was cute. Then I had her sidepass of a telephone pole that was lying on the ground. I had her weave in and out of the horse trailers, which were all in a line. She was doing really well till she saw a herd of dear, then her mind was on them not me. But we got back ok.

Two nights ago I went up to the barn and it was surprising quiet, so I brought Izzy out and played with her in the isle way. We worked on trotting and stopping next to me. She was doing well and we are working her to back up if I back up. She is picking it up quickly. Then we worked on going into the wash stall. I went in with her a couple times but that seemed to just cause her issues. She would take a step or two inside and then fly backwards and then get upset when the rope got tight and she pushed into pressure making it worse on her. So instead of playing tug of war, if she pulled back on the rope I would hold the pressure on the rope. Not increasing or decreasing it. If she took one step forward the pressure on the rope was gone and I would turn away. We did this for about an hour before she figured it out. Its not perfect but its a start. I was starting to get frustrated with her not wanting to go in. So I sat down on the mounting block which was inside the wash stall and did NOTHING. I didn't even look at her I would let her do what ever she wanted as long as she didn't walk so far backwards that she was pulling on the rope. After a few minutes she took a couple steps inside and put her head on my lap. We just sat there for a while. I rubbed her head and neck. Then I turned the tables on her and asked her to go backwards away from the wash stall. Well this got her curious. Like she said "huh? I thought you wanted me in there, not out here." So back and forth she would come inside a couple of steps and then I would send her out before she did it on her own. Soon she was all the way inside facing the back wall, and a few tries later and she was inside and facing the right way. I will not crosstie her because of the accident she had. Oh and after another half hour I was able to run the hose with her in there and wash her hooves. It was too cold to do anymore. So it took a few hours,but now she goes in and stays in no problem. And she has more confidence to try new things, and more confidence with me. Like she has said "Whyd you have to wait? Where were you? Just a little late You found me,why'd you have to wait to find me, thank you."